Round and around we go...where she'll stop? Nobody knows...

Morning thought...I -need- caffeine when I get to work in the morning. The periods in my life where I have been more moody or have had trouble dealing with the stresses in my life, are the times where I was not having my morning cup of tea. Actually, it's probably the other way around...when I'm in a negative place, I drop my personal rituals. But no matter, I'm going to try to always have my morning cup of tea (just in case).

The following I have my friend Er to thank for...she has a great way of inspiring my brain...she brought up the idea of personal power...and the following came out of me...

When I'm balanced my power is positive...everything is focused and humming, like a racecar on a track, taking each curve nice and tight, knowing when to slow down or accelerate, clean, fast, sharp. However, when I'm unbalanced, my power is completely unfocused. Imagine that same racecar with a thin slick layer of rain between its tires and the track. The car is still moving fast, but now it's skidding, sliding, loosing control, maybe even spinning out. The more unbalanced I become the harder the rain falls and the more slippery the track becomes. When I am unbalanced like that my insecurities fly. Then I reach out to seek control...and in a negative manner, try to control -everything- else too much (being obsessive compulsive) but without ever fixing the problem. Instead of slowing down and being more careful...I try and fix things that aren't broken. So here's this Me speeding along working on everything else that is fine, possibly causing more problems (ie. if it ain't broke don't fix it), and not watching where I'm going, at this insane speed. And another thing I just realized...when I'm feeling out of control, one of the things I like to do is drive...and fast.

Okay, lesson learned:
When things are bad -
- SLOW DOWN
- don't try and fix everything
- don't get behind the wheel, unless you HAVE to ;)

All I need to do now is figure out what the 'rain' is...or even deeper...what causes the 'rain. :)

After all that, I think I'm going to get my car washed tonight, since it's going to be balmy tomorrow and because...boy does my car need it. And if I'm already out I should probably get the oil changed too...ahhh, the exciting adventures of The Green Machine. Stay tuned for the next episode "What is that smell...really?"