Oh Captain, my Captain

I spend the whole evening chatting with a captain in our Navy. He seems nice enough, but at no point does he inquire about whether I'd like to see him again, ask for my digits or show any future interest. But whatever, he's nice and a great way to spend the evening, chatting with someone new. I'm a little attracted to him...he seems okay...but whatever. It's now the end of the evening...going on 2:30am...

Me - Okay, I'm heading out...I've got a cab coming
CCN - Hey...do you mind if I share the cab with you...I'm going the same way?
Me - Yeah, no problem (in my head...hmmmm? Is he making a play for me? Yes...I know what all the other party guests are thinking...no that's not what this is...)

Cab Arrives

Me (to the cab driver) - Hi, I'm going to King and Dufferin...
Me (to CCN) - where are you headed? (get the hint)
CCN - (he gives his intersection)

Small talk in the cab...then our faces get closer...hmmmmm...so we are going to kiss...nope, no kiss, cab stops, so I lean in, get a lovely kiss in return, and then go to pay the driver

CCN -Uhm...would you mind? Could I get a glass of water?
Me - (huge pause) yeeeeeeah....suuuuuuure....??? (what is he thinking, glass of water, lamest thing EVER...but what can I say? no? I don't have water? I don't invite guys with bad lines up to my apartment?)
Cab Driver - but I thought you were going to....?
CCN - No...don't worry about it

Small talk in the elevator consisting of me explaining the absolute pigsty of my apartment. I hang up my coat, he hands me his...

Me - Sorry, I don't have another coat hanger (LIES), let me hang it up here (on the door hinge)
CCN - Can you give me the tour?
Me - Yup...(I show him around...quick look at the bedroom and then I come right back out)

I get him a glass of water...we sit on the couch, small talk again...kissing starts.

After about 10 minutes of a little kissing and defensive play...seriously, I just want to go to bed.

Me - Well, I think it's time for you to go.
CCN - Really?!?!?
Me - Yup, I don't let men into my apartment for glasses of water at the end of a night (ya ya ya...anymore...)
CCN - Well, can I make a suggestion?
Me - Are you negotiating with me?
CCN - Yup, sooooooo...what if I just stay over and we just sleep?
Me - No, that's not a good idea (because grown-ups don't sleep!)
CCN - Really?!?!
Me - Yes really...

So I call him a cab...

Dispatch - That'll be fourty minutes
Me - (now it's my turn) Really?!?!
Dispatch - yes
Me - Why? Is there some kind of problem?
Dispatch - (sounding TOTALLY unimpressed) Yes, there is...the bars just let out
Me - Oh...okay, fine then.

Damn...what are we going to do for 40 minutes?!? Yup, more kissing and playing defense.

After 30 minutes, my phone rings, it's the front door...YES...the cab's here.

Me - Cab's here
CCN - Really?!?!
Me - Yup, time to go.
CCN - Really?!?!
Me - Yup
Me - It was nice meeting you...

Seriously...guys, if you want to get ANYWHERE...at least make the effort to look interested, and be pro-active. Ask for my number earlier in the night, pretend you want to go out with me again, suggest something! But seriously...when it's blatantly obvious that you have no interest in me beyond what my body can do for you...yeah, unless that's what I'm looking for (which I'm not)...it's going to get you nowhere. Not that the effort would have helped...much... ;)

Note to self - Your water has been turned off!!! Duh!