Blah...blah...blah...January

Boring…am I becoming boring? Where has my personality gone?

Maybe it’s the new job. Now, don’t get me wrong…there is nothing wrong with the new job. On the contrary, the new job is pretty darn marvellous. But as good as things are, I’m still the ‘new’ girl, still trying to fit in. And there continues to be much for me to learn as well. I also made some mistakes in the first little while that I was here that I fear haven’t all caught up to me yet.
I guess I’m just feeling a little flat these days…a shell of the real me. Why is this?

Well, there could be a number of reasons…as I already considered, the new job. The most logical reason, of course being, that the bulb shone quite brightly and I’ve worn it out a bit. If this is the case I’m not too worried, as I know the bulb will recharge and be lit again. If this is the case it’s just a matter of time…I’ll have to wait it out and remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is me. :)

Or maybe I’m just at a crossroads right now…or coming up to one. However, I don’t feel like there is a major choice in front of me right now.

After thinking some more about it, I believe that the bulb reason is definitely the most logical. So with all of this the question is…how do I get past it? I’m sick of not feeling like me, more a shadow of my former self. How do I get my personality, my drive, my raison d’être back? Do I just wait it out? Or do I work at it? I should probably start doing things…anything. Yup, I guess being a bump on a log right now, isn’t helping anything. I need to get out…ie. get away from the tv so lovingly displaying my Buffy and Angel.

I need to read more, get out more, exercise more…all of those things that I said in my resolutions post. J I just have absolutely -no- motivation or inspiration right now.

I guess it’s also -that- time of year. We are entering the dark days of the year. It is the time of year where our natural instinct is to hibernate, to go into a warm, dark place where we can snuggle up and fall asleep. And there isn’t a statutory holiday now until the end of March.

Well, I hope I’m not sounding all depressed or melancholy. I’m not….really! I’m just….flat. I’m not tired, I’m not sad, I’m not anything. I’m just spilling the thoughts that are tumbling around in my head. :)

Lastly...just as a note...it's +15 Celcius today...which is unheard of in January...our own little Chinook here in South-Eastern Ontario. No worries. It drops off tomorrow to the equivalent low.