In the thick of it...

...I like to stick my nose in, I like to get involved, get right into the middle of things, in the thick of it. However, slowly but surely, I am learning that a) I don’t need to be there and b) my being there can actually make things worse.

I still have trouble with it though.

As insecure as I am, I have great confidence in my ability to repair all things relationship. So when I see problems I feel the need to jump right in and either give my opinion or better yet, get directly involved.

I am the middle-man who helped to pass the notes in class between two individuals. But my help never really made anything any better, it mostly managed to get 3 people sent to detention. Then there were two people mad at me for getting them into trouble when it was them who were passing the notes in the first place…I’m just guilty of aiding and abetting.

So these days when I feel like getting involved I think twice, three times, four times, until I’ve thought too hard about doing anything at all and then worry that I should have done something from the beginning. What if information that I have could have changed things, could have made things better? Should I tell what I know, it’s not a secret, but when does it become getting involved and when is it just being a good friend and when…?

Basically I wish people could communicate better…and when it’s me in the relationship I wish I could communicate better…I mean, there are a million things in my own relationships that I wish I could say, and believe it or not, even I bite my tongue sometimes. (my tongue is very sore right now)