TeeVee...English...Blogging...Sleeping
TV is wonderful. The characters always say the right thing. Even when they say the wrong thing, it’s still the right thing. Unfortunately, real life isn’t as well scripted. Although sometimes it’s even better, but not all the time…-definitely- not all the time.
I wonder if television is one of the reasons for all of my hope. Seriously. I was raised in a generation where; Joey helps Blossom to learn a lesson, Will has to rely on Carleton, Vampires teach us the true meaning of love, and a rude little fat kid with an annoying voice and a skanky mom can help everyone. I mean talk about messed up. If all of those people can have everything work out, not necessarily in a half hour episode, but at least by the end of the season, why can’t it happen to me?
I guess I’ve been doing a lot of rambling; from my head, to the paper and then to this blog. It’s made me realize that my grammar, spelling and punctuation all suck. Not to mention my adoration of bad similes and metaphors (I don’t think I ever get as good as allegories). Thank you Ontario Public School system. And to think, not only did I love English, it was always one of my best marks (heck I couldn’t remember what all those things were and had to look them up on the web too).
However, all this writing and blogging has really quieted my head some. It has given my brain a little space. I haven’t done much writing in years, other than the rambling emails that I’m known for. (btw – it is email or emails when plural, or are both acceptable…like fruit & fruits). I was never very good at writing but I have always loved doing it.
This blog allows me to open myself up, so that I can just spill out whatever my mind needs to release. And don’t we all know how much I love opening up. At least what is being written here, as personal and inside me as it is, I think that it’s a lot healthier than my normal mental vomit that I can do.
I’m not trying to show off, or out-speak someone, or out-funny someone. Yes, I’d love it if there were hundreds of people reading here. I -am- an exhibitionist after all. But it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m able to put these ramblings in my head into a sort of shape, more of a physical idea, which helps me to make a little more sense of everything.
As I put my thought, ideas and feelings down here, my head clears. It allows me to look at everything head on, instead of simply trying to wade through it all.
I lie here in bed every night with pen in hand and a pad of paper next to me and just write or think what I am feeling. When I finally fall asleep I am very relaxed and calm. There had been nights before where I would lie awake, trying to fall asleep, while my mind moved too quickly, drafting conversations that would never happen, making shopping lists (note: remember tin foil) or just trying to have a single train of thought, not being able to focus. Now I don’t have to try. I simply shut my eyes, my head still clocking away, but much quieter, quiet enough to sleep. I was never an insomniac, but very often my sleep was troubled or restless, never fulfilling.
The funniest part is the cramp I seem to be developing in my forearm with all this writing. I can’t imagine how I survived most of my school years without a computer.
*yawn* Well it’s about that time. I can slowly but surely hear my brain getting quieter as it begins to shut down for the night. Not to mention the ache in my arm. If nothing else, I will develop a very strong forearm (that could be a good thing…lol) and even lovelier penmanship. I used to love penmanship, working on my cursive writing. I would so proud of how beautifully it has matured. Hey wait…I am proud of that.
The song in my head tonight as I fall asleep is the same from when I was on hold the other day. I downloaded (shhhhh) a couple of versions of it this evening, and it really is a beautiful piece of music.
“…you’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…you’d be like heaven to touch…I wanna hold you so much…at long last love has been found…and I thank God you’re around…you’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…”
Of course I’m singing along, both as I’m writing this and again as I typed it up…don’t I always…
All together now…
“…I…LOVE…YOU…BABY…”
love you guys
I wonder if television is one of the reasons for all of my hope. Seriously. I was raised in a generation where; Joey helps Blossom to learn a lesson, Will has to rely on Carleton, Vampires teach us the true meaning of love, and a rude little fat kid with an annoying voice and a skanky mom can help everyone. I mean talk about messed up. If all of those people can have everything work out, not necessarily in a half hour episode, but at least by the end of the season, why can’t it happen to me?
I guess I’ve been doing a lot of rambling; from my head, to the paper and then to this blog. It’s made me realize that my grammar, spelling and punctuation all suck. Not to mention my adoration of bad similes and metaphors (I don’t think I ever get as good as allegories). Thank you Ontario Public School system. And to think, not only did I love English, it was always one of my best marks (heck I couldn’t remember what all those things were and had to look them up on the web too).
However, all this writing and blogging has really quieted my head some. It has given my brain a little space. I haven’t done much writing in years, other than the rambling emails that I’m known for. (btw – it is email or emails when plural, or are both acceptable…like fruit & fruits). I was never very good at writing but I have always loved doing it.
This blog allows me to open myself up, so that I can just spill out whatever my mind needs to release. And don’t we all know how much I love opening up. At least what is being written here, as personal and inside me as it is, I think that it’s a lot healthier than my normal mental vomit that I can do.
I’m not trying to show off, or out-speak someone, or out-funny someone. Yes, I’d love it if there were hundreds of people reading here. I -am- an exhibitionist after all. But it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I’m able to put these ramblings in my head into a sort of shape, more of a physical idea, which helps me to make a little more sense of everything.
As I put my thought, ideas and feelings down here, my head clears. It allows me to look at everything head on, instead of simply trying to wade through it all.
I lie here in bed every night with pen in hand and a pad of paper next to me and just write or think what I am feeling. When I finally fall asleep I am very relaxed and calm. There had been nights before where I would lie awake, trying to fall asleep, while my mind moved too quickly, drafting conversations that would never happen, making shopping lists (note: remember tin foil) or just trying to have a single train of thought, not being able to focus. Now I don’t have to try. I simply shut my eyes, my head still clocking away, but much quieter, quiet enough to sleep. I was never an insomniac, but very often my sleep was troubled or restless, never fulfilling.
The funniest part is the cramp I seem to be developing in my forearm with all this writing. I can’t imagine how I survived most of my school years without a computer.
*yawn* Well it’s about that time. I can slowly but surely hear my brain getting quieter as it begins to shut down for the night. Not to mention the ache in my arm. If nothing else, I will develop a very strong forearm (that could be a good thing…lol) and even lovelier penmanship. I used to love penmanship, working on my cursive writing. I would so proud of how beautifully it has matured. Hey wait…I am proud of that.
The song in my head tonight as I fall asleep is the same from when I was on hold the other day. I downloaded (shhhhh) a couple of versions of it this evening, and it really is a beautiful piece of music.
“…you’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…you’d be like heaven to touch…I wanna hold you so much…at long last love has been found…and I thank God you’re around…you’re just too good to be true…can’t take my eyes off of you…”
Of course I’m singing along, both as I’m writing this and again as I typed it up…don’t I always…
All together now…
“…I…LOVE…YOU…BABY…”
love you guys
posted by PrincessDoubt @ 12:52 p.m.
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