Some like it hot...

…and I would be one of them.

No matter the scenario, I like to get right in there. I am a person who likes to experience, first hand, everything. I am a do-er. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good book, I enjoy a great movie, but I would much rather be out there doing and creating my own stories, my own drama. Because goodness knows, I love drama.

I constantly make reference to ‘the stove is hot’. I don’t mean the element is dark, set at 5 and hot. I mean the metal is glowing red, the dial is all the way around and a little drop of water would dance.

There is something about that red glow. It catches my eye. Once I have noticed it I can’t look away. It begins to call to me. Watching me approach the stove is like watching an impending train wreck. The bridge ahead has collapsed. The worst part is that I often feel like the engineer. I see what’s ahead, I don’t bother to try the brakes, because at the speed the train is traveling, the brakes either won’t work, or they will but the results of such a fast stop will be just as severe as the bridge being out. And I watch myself approach the stove.

Then I reach out and touch it. I don’t just test it with the tip of my finger. I lay my hand, palm down, right onto the element.

Now the part that I find quite miraculous is what happens next. My immediate reaction should be to pull my hand off the stove. However, I don’t feel any pain or heat, I can’t smell burning flesh. Even looking directly at what is going on, I don’t see any scorched flesh or melting skin. It’s quite impressive; I seem to be immune to the effects of such heat.

At this point, most people, knowing full well that their hand should be quite disfigured and that they should be in a lot of pain, would take their hand away and thank their lucky stars for such a miracle. Then they can assess the situation and either decide they were lucky and walk away or they could do some further investigation at a slower pace, not wanting to tempt fate too much the second time around.

I, on the other hand (no…still the same hand), am staring at my hand and not in an amazed wow-tempting-fate kind of way, but in an I-knew-I-could-handle-that-because-I’m-tougher-than-I-appear kind of way. So I continue to leave my hand there. Why not? It’s not hurting, nothing bad is happening and worse, because it’s making me feel strong and powerful, I start to feel really good. And why would I stop doing something that makes me feel good and has no consequences, even though I know better, even though it should.

So I don’t question it. I close my eyes to it. I forget about it ever being a bad idea.

Suddenly it all hits me. I am feeling all of the heat, all of the pain and all of it all at once. I was not immune; it was simply a delayed reaction. The only power I seem to have is to postpone the inevitable. My own power blinded me to the reality. I look down at my hand all scorched. But I don’t remove it from the element. It felt good. I know it did and it can feel like that again. I just have to keep my hand there.

By the time I eventually pull my hand away I am in terrible pain and my hand is beyond recognition.
But I’m not worried…there’s always the other hand.