The Pope

Pope John Paul is dead. He is the only Pope that I've ever known. I have learnt more about him over the last couple of weeks than I have during the rest of my life. I am very proud of the man that I have called Pope all of my life. I do not mourn for him, as he has moved on. Living with Parkinson's is horrible and he is in a much better place.

Then came the choosing of the new Pope, Benedict. The other day, while sitting at work, I heard that smoke had appeared coming out of the chimney and a new Pope had been chosen. I felt a rush, it was excitement, it was joy. And I ran to watch as Benedict walked through the curtains and onto the balcony. I paid little attention to what he was saying and just focused on the feelings of happiness. Then I went back to work.

Later that evening I watched the news. Listening, what I heard frightened and upset me. Benedict as a Cardinal was known as The Enforcer (which sounds like a lousy wrestling name) and Cardinal NO and he is extremely conservative, even for a Catholic.

I listened to Catholics around the world share their fear of this new Pope. How their hopes for some understanding and even lenience, on topics such as birth control, abortion, homosexuality and women in the priesthood, are gone. Benedict is a staunch Enforcer of these and other ideals of the Catholic Church. I had even heard it said that he was against Budhism and that Catholicism is the only true faith.

*sigh*

However, I will give this new leader of the Catholic faith the benefit of this Doubt. I am a Catholic, although I do not agree with many of the foundations of the Catholic Church. I am pro-choice, have (and will probably continue to have) pre-marital sex, have used and will use birth control, and the list goes on. How can I be a Catholic then? Because I believe in God and I try to be true to myself. I believe that as long as I continue to be true and honest with myself, that in doing so I'm am bowing before God and giving him the respect and the love that I have for him, through myself. I believe that God gave me a mind with which to think, and at the same time with which to question him. That by simply following blindly, I would be untrue to myself and therefore, to him.

Benedict has been chosen. There is nothing that I can do about it. However, I respect the man, who has so much faith, so much strength in his faith, and is so steadfast...and I remember that he is still just a man.

I hope thgat Benedict will help to bring Catholics closer together, however I fear that he may widen the chasm. I pray for our new Pope, for him to have the strength to lead the Church but also to have the understanding of who we are, today's Catholics. I don't expect the Church to change overnight, I never have. But I believe that more understanding is needed.