Tumbling thoughts

I have so many thoughts tumbling through my head right now as I try to blog before going to sleep and although I try to focus on just one, I can't see to get all the words on just one topic to stick.

Infidelity, why do people cheat? The thoughts haven't really formed, but I know that it upsets me and if I spent more time thinking about it I could probably get it all down. The problem...I don't think I really want to think about it at all...at least not right now.

Next, why do I allow myself to be treated poorly? I am always trying to do the right thing and stand for what I believe in even when everyone else says I'm beeing too nice, too understanding, too accomodating, too available. No one else would put up with it. I'm justified in being a b*tch. Am I trying to be a martyr? Do I like that or is it just who I am?

(BTW - sidenote here...I am very happy with my decision to be the bigger person, even if it means appearing that I'm getting stepped on and walked all over...I much prefer to stand for what I believe is the right thing. I have trouble with decisions so when I make one I stick by it...I like being the nice guy)

So much stuff to do with the new apartment. No, I haven't packed some stuff yet. Why not? Because I can either leave it behind for the next guy (lol)...or I have the next two weeks to come back and get it. But we all know that probably won't ever happen ;)

(...and I fell asleep, right here...pen in hand...I was exhausted last night...)