Where is he right now?

(warning...cheese factor)

So where is he right now? My man. The person I will eventually end up with? I mean, what is he doing? Is he just going to bed? Is he out with friends? Maybe it's laundry night or dinner with family? Watching tv, surfing the net? Or is it possible he is somewhere right now wondering where I am?

It sounds so silly and fanciful to think and write this and it will feel even sillier as I retype this for your eyes, but I'm really thinking it.

Things are great. I've made it. I'm a grown up, for real, and yet, yet I still lie here in bed right now and feel lonely. I feel like there's something missing. I know what I'm looking for will come along aas soon as I'm not looking for it. I don't think about it all the time, but I do think about it and I long for it and I wonder now where he is.

I don't have himi in my life because I'm not ready for him yet. And I don't want to meet him until I'm ready. But *sigh* I just want to share my wonderful world with another person and have them share theirs with me. And no, not just any person...the right person.

I guess there are just some moments when I feel lonely, the most lonely. The moments when I hear a beautiful song, or see a great sunrise, or have my breath taken away. But I want someone to dance with to that song or kiss me while the sunrises or the reason that my breath was taken away.

I want to hold and touch and love that person and have them hold and touch and love me right back.

And I get it, I'm not ready. This is my next lesson. I can be just with me. I don't -need- someone else. Why do I need another person? Why do I feel like there's a part of me missing? Is there another half?

All this sounds lik silly, romantic, girlish thoughts. But I want it all. I don't want the wedding and the dress and the flowers. I do want someone to love me while I love them. I want to fall in love and hold them as they fall with me. I want the fairy tale. I want my handsome prince to rescue me from the tower, to wake me with a kiss and I want to rescue him right back.

I want...