How simply marvellous

It's now almost 5am and I am amazed that my brain is still functioning, and that my penmanship appears so relaxed and legible. It could just be my perception at this time. I shall have to check it in the morning with a fresh head and see if it is as clear as I think it is (sidenote: checked as I typed this...yes, quite legible).

What a marvellous evening!

I rushed home after work and busted my butt. I tidied up and cleaned, then jumped in the shower and began to make myself beautiful. With my hair in velcro rollers, wearing jeans and a bra, I proceded to cut fruit and lay out the food. Around 7:40 I realized that I needed to finish getting myself ready. I took out the rollers...Ack, hideous...nothing I could do but try and brush the crap out of it...put on a shirt, and back to preparations...oh, don't forget makeup, and then back to preparations. Everything was ready by 8pm when Nerds arrived. I was buzzing, all wired for the event ahead. Was everything ready? Was everything prepared? I put little finishing touches on things, not wanting to leave anything forgotten. We had a smoke, I started to calm down. I had some wine, a bite here a nibble there and then waited.

Would anyone show?

Yes they would, but not for awhile. Two guests arrived at 8:45, then another two shortly after that. The first two, co-workers, brought a lovely gift, from all of my coworkers who would be attending; 8 martini glasses and a shaker. More people arrived, and more and more. People ate, people drank, people brought me booze. Everyone socialized, introduced themselves. I was the hostess, jumping from group to group, trying to make sure people had drinks, were eating, were talking, getting along, Yay! My face hurt I was smiling so much. Lots of compliments, great apartment, colour, design, great food, great spread, Yay!

I got 4 gorgeous large red wine glasses from a friend and then some sex toy gag gifts (only I don't really thing they're meant as a joke) ;) from two other friends.

We laughed, we talked, I met new people. Some didn't show, many did. Some left at 11pm, others arrived, more left, more arrived, even more left and another group to arrive. Co-workers were leaving and left their friends that I had just met behind.

3:30am, the last 6 decide it was time to shut the party down. I closed the door, turned the lock and wanted to sit. But I looked around. I could go to bed right this minute but if I did the cleanup in the morning would require an exterminator, leaving all that food everywhere.

So I started to tidy, clean, wash, throw out. 4:30, with all the dishes at least rinsed, half washed, food thrown out, fridge tidied, beers put in their respective cases, I looked around. I looked around, a little more to do tomorrow, but the major projects had been completed.

Now here I am in bed, barely able to keep my eyes open. And I am out!

What a great night.

What a wonderful night!

What wonderful friends!

And now a good night.

Wheeew...

What a month, what a week, what a day...It's supposed to be the other order...but serioulsy...it goes in that order...This month...HECTIC...with the packing and the moving and the unpacking and the getting ready for the party...and then this past week with the party planning focus...and then today with the rushing around at lunch because I shouldn't leave for too long and the waiting to finish work so I can get home and set up the party and.....

I should take a deep breath and relax...but I know I can't.

I'm in full caffeine-after-noon mode. I've been buzzing all week...well, all month...haven't really had a chance to myself to catch my breath...Well, not actually that's a lie...I had a moment to catch my breath last Thursday night...and my breath was caught ;) That was VERY nice...I'd like another night like that...a little electric...

ANYWAYS...I totally digress :)

So, I'm in full babbling mode have been emailing Nerds all day (soon I will figure out how to turn words into links and can link Nerds's name to her blog...and if she's reading this...Please explain so I can do)...

So yes, as you can tell, my focus is definitely more than a little off today, and there was no drinking last night, so I can't blame it on that. However, I can't say the same for the rest of my office...everyone seems to be moving a bit slow today...so it's their fault (that time is moving slowly today...even for me).

It's 3pm...and I'm going slightly crazy, watching the clock...trying to figure out how I can waste more time online...surfing, who can I email and harrass, lol ;) Wow...talk about wasting time. How naughty of me...but come on...seriously. I bust my butt the rest of the week. I actually do. Seldom leaving my desk, never taking a real lunch. And Wednesday's, from start to finish Wednesday's I'm rushing and bustling and getting stuff done...and all that in order to be able to screw the pooch on Friday afternoons. I think it's worth it :)

Well tonight I have the party...lots of people have RSVPd...the boys, the girls, the co-workers...it should be fun, it could be chaos, it will be interesting to say the least. I am hoping that my place is big enough...if nothing else I've got a lot of places to sit...and I always think that's important...also there's the balcony, so I can throw people outside if it gets too crowded...but I'm not too worried...I'm just trying to picture 20 people in there though...Hmmm...If I put bums in all the seats...how many people would still be standing...3 on the couch, 1 on the chair, 6 on the regular chairs...so that's 10, 10 left standing...a couple of people could use the couch and chair arm rests...and 2 people could fit on either ends of the tv units...so there's another 4, only 6 left standing...and there's all those pillows so I could make room on the floor for those people...otherwise they could just have an orgy in my bed....*kidding*...except knowing my friends....no I'm kidding... ;) wishing maybe...no, shut up! ;)

Anyways...there will be lots of space...And food...and booze...I'm basing everything on 20 and I keep forgetting that...duh...I'll be there too... ;) But I've got 60 beers, and 6 bottles of wine...that should be MORE than enough. I'm hoping the crowds make their way through the beer faster than the wine...because I will drink the wine, but the beer...not so much. I also hope no one brings beer...because if they do, there won't be anywhere to put it...not too true though, because once I've laid out the food and drink areas my fridge will be empty again, except for the beer. :)

Okay...enough stressing...however, remember to buy ice...yes, Ice...shoot and there was something else I wanted to remember...oh well, it's gone... ;)

Look at the time fly when you're having fun...between typing this and doing piddly little things to make myself look busy I've managed to kill an hour...yay! I'll leave early, definitely...

Okay, I've just realized what I've been doing...talking to myself to kill time...*sigh*...I could be doing so many more productive things right now...like cutting fruit, and I could, really...sitting here at my desk on my new cheese board with my new knives...but I think that would be less acceptible than what I'm actually doing, although the fruit would be more productive...this is just completely wasteful...HOWEVER...it is emptying my brain of useless information before I try and socialize with my friends this evening...hopefully it will leave room in my head for more intelligent thoughts and conversations.

I wonder if I have time for a little nap...I wish I could cap nap... :( I can't, I get all grumpy and want to sleep more...but...hmmmmm? If I can make it home by 5...lie down for 20 minutes...then speed up my shower...no dawdling (or anything else ;))...put my hair in dry rollers and do the rest of the apartment stuff with my hair doing itself? Oh, but I wanted to clean first....? Okay if I get home REALLY early...and manage to get all the cleaning done quickly and that's all done by 5pm...MAYBE then I could have a little nap....

We'll have to wait and see...

Toothpicks...that's the other thing I wanted to pick up...fancy toothpicks...hmmmm? I wonder if the Hasty Market on the corner would have any....? I've got regular toothpicks...but I want fancy ones...Nerds says I've been stressing about the silliest things this week...like the serving dishes and the food I'm serving...and the cheese board...well this are hostessy things and my mom is great at them and has everything...and I've never done this before and I want to be good at it...

But who cares because my apartment looks AWESOME...it's a little piece of porno...it really is. :) *sigh*...and after tonight and the clean up tomorrow...it will be over and I can really just live in it. It's weird...having my own real place. I'm trying to figure out if I was every truly comfortable at the last place? It was mine, my own little space...but I think I always felt a little restless...like I didn't know quite what to do with myself there...I think this one is already better...but I'm not sure...I haven't had any time to really just be there. I've been stressing about getting everything done...and rightly so. AND it isn't completely finished yet, there's still the patio furniture that I need and to finish the organza on the bedroom ceiling...but other than $$$ those things won't take long at all. However, I'm thinking that they will both have to wait until after I get back from England...so like JUNE! Gasp...Where has all the money gone...?

Yup, I've been a spending fiend this month. I've blown through quite a bit of cash...and I've got to stop now...Slow it down a bit. Realize what I'm buying. I mean, I haven't bought too many stupid things ;) But there have been stupid things. But I've stopped worrying about cost, and that frightens me. I'm not spending all that extravagantly, but I'm slowly loosing the value of money, I can feel it slipping away from me. It is frightening having a large increase in money coming in. I'm glad that I have some saving methods already in place or else I'd be a lot worse than I am. Even now, I'm totally spoiling myself. I could be putting a lot more money down, and I'm not...so I've got to buck up and smarten up and focus a bit more (says the girl a couple weeks before she leaves for England...money will be blown there...)

Okay...enough of this...look at the babbling go...sorry guys, as you can tell...a little out of control, and it's all the fault of the caffeine, lack of work, Friday afternoon, long month and housewarming party...and I'm sure I could find some more excuses for my insanity too...but let's just leave it at that.

Thanks for ... well sticking around and reading everything if you've reached this point.

Busy girl...

So much going on, so much to talk about, but just too tired these days...

I'm putting the finishing touches on my new apartment and spending money like it's going out of fashion.

I'm throwing my first party (ever) on Friday and have been busy planning it and getting everything ready and spending money like it's going out of fashion.

(yes, I realize I've repeated myself...but it's really getting silly)

Work is busy, hectic and a ton of fun, but I barely have a moment to myself during the day to let my brain rest (actually, meaning, to do personal stuff at the office to leave me time to do MORE personal stuff on my own time).

Keeping on top of everything is tough and getting proper sleep is getting to be a chore. I'm trying to stay focused and organized and everything.

I like being busy, but I look forward to having some time to myself and do some knitting...yes, seriously. Because that would be nice and peaceful.

I'm completely mentally wired right now, although physically exhausted. My body aches from lifting and carrying and all sorts of stuff. I am hoping to score a shoulder rub in the evening. I'll even return the favour. My shoulders feel swollen, they're so tight and sore.

I'm thinking about telling my neighbours (or should I say, warning them) about my housewarming gala (lol) on Friday night. A couple of my friends have suggested I do this, but it feels weird to me..."Hi, you don't know me, but I live next door/across the hall/down the hall, and I'm throwing a party on Friday night. Look how cool I am, sorry if we wake you, but don't say I didn't warn you." I mean I'd invite my neighbours but I don't live in the safest neighbourhood and I have NO idea what I'd be getting myself into PLUS...my friends are awesome...but if I have any neighbours that are really sheltered (I doubt (lol) it, but one never knows)...well, my friends aren't crazy...but we do know how to have fun and I wouldn't want to frighten the neighbours either. Ahhhh! So maybe before the shoulder rub and after the food preparation tonight...I might go to a couple of doors and feel like an idiot. I'm working with the idea of "Hi...you haven't met me yet...I'm your new neighbour. I'm having a little (lol) housewarming party on Friday night and I just wanted to let you know (this needs work)...I will try and keep the noise down, but feel free to let me know if it gets to be too much (?)..." Okay, I have no idea what I'm going to say. *sigh*...maybe just warn the superintendant at the other end of the hall, might even ask her for a quick drink...she seems okay, and I can't get into trouble if -she's- there, right?

Ack!

And I'm going through all sorts of party lists in my head (at every moment). When am I preparing which foods? Which dishes for I use for which things? What do I still have to buy? What needs to be done that day? Will I have enough food? Do I have enough mix? Am I crazy? Have I gone overboard? Probably. Am I excited? Definitely!

Content

(note this was written 3 days ago....hey...I've been busy)

Do you every feel completely happy? Are you waiting or that one thing for you to be perfectly content? If you just get the perfect job, more money, the love of your life, great sex, a new piece of technology...what? What is keeping you, stopping you right now, right this second, from being perfectly happy?

Take a deep breath, close your eyes (after you finish reading of course ;)), and just enjoy. Enjoy living, enjoy breathing, enjoy just being you, there's only one of you.

Life is too short to keep waiting for something to happen, whatever it is you think you need to be happy.

Start enjoying everything you already have, the family and friends that you love and that love you, the job you do have, the home where you live, the extras that you already have that don't seem to be enough. You already have more than half of the planet. Enjoy and stop taking for granted everything that you do have. If you start enjoying the things you have you will feel better and those things will be more inportant and wonderful, because you make them what they are.

Stop and smell the roses, seriously, and when you do, think of how wonderful life is in that one scent (and if you don't like roses, any smell you do enjoy will do)

I am content, right now, I am perfectly happy. Sure, there's tons of stuff that I want, I wish for, I desire, but I have decided to stop placing my happiness on those things. Sure of course when I get those things I become happy...but I don't want to place my current emotions on the possibility of something in the future.

I want to enjoy my life as I'm living it. Regret it one of the worst things you can do to yourself and I would hate to get old and look back and find that I was never really happy, because I was waiting for it. I do not want to reach the end and look back...and regret.

I want to know each day that if I were to close my eyes right then and there and never woke up that I was truly happy and that there was nothing to regret. No time wasted.

And I know that's how I feel right now. Sure, there's tons I want to do, but at this point up to right this second, I'm happy.

Sure, it's easy for me to say all this right now...things are good, but it's the state of mind that is the most of it. I have to learn to remember all of this continually. When things aren't as good as they are right now and I don't feel happy, I have to remember, to relax and enjoy...state of mind is a lot more powerful than we admit...create your own happiness.

The Pope

Pope John Paul is dead. He is the only Pope that I've ever known. I have learnt more about him over the last couple of weeks than I have during the rest of my life. I am very proud of the man that I have called Pope all of my life. I do not mourn for him, as he has moved on. Living with Parkinson's is horrible and he is in a much better place.

Then came the choosing of the new Pope, Benedict. The other day, while sitting at work, I heard that smoke had appeared coming out of the chimney and a new Pope had been chosen. I felt a rush, it was excitement, it was joy. And I ran to watch as Benedict walked through the curtains and onto the balcony. I paid little attention to what he was saying and just focused on the feelings of happiness. Then I went back to work.

Later that evening I watched the news. Listening, what I heard frightened and upset me. Benedict as a Cardinal was known as The Enforcer (which sounds like a lousy wrestling name) and Cardinal NO and he is extremely conservative, even for a Catholic.

I listened to Catholics around the world share their fear of this new Pope. How their hopes for some understanding and even lenience, on topics such as birth control, abortion, homosexuality and women in the priesthood, are gone. Benedict is a staunch Enforcer of these and other ideals of the Catholic Church. I had even heard it said that he was against Budhism and that Catholicism is the only true faith.

*sigh*

However, I will give this new leader of the Catholic faith the benefit of this Doubt. I am a Catholic, although I do not agree with many of the foundations of the Catholic Church. I am pro-choice, have (and will probably continue to have) pre-marital sex, have used and will use birth control, and the list goes on. How can I be a Catholic then? Because I believe in God and I try to be true to myself. I believe that as long as I continue to be true and honest with myself, that in doing so I'm am bowing before God and giving him the respect and the love that I have for him, through myself. I believe that God gave me a mind with which to think, and at the same time with which to question him. That by simply following blindly, I would be untrue to myself and therefore, to him.

Benedict has been chosen. There is nothing that I can do about it. However, I respect the man, who has so much faith, so much strength in his faith, and is so steadfast...and I remember that he is still just a man.

I hope thgat Benedict will help to bring Catholics closer together, however I fear that he may widen the chasm. I pray for our new Pope, for him to have the strength to lead the Church but also to have the understanding of who we are, today's Catholics. I don't expect the Church to change overnight, I never have. But I believe that more understanding is needed.

Goodnight Moon

I look up at the moon and I smile. The man in the moon looks back at me, and he winks. He knows me, he always remembers me. As he winks he smiles and beams down his cool light upon me.

When I am happy, when I am sad, I call out to him. He always turns towards me, ready to listen. He waits, ever so patiently, for me to speak. I call out to him, in joy, in despair. He hears me.

He takes my words and holds them close. He cares. He stares at me knowingly, he knows me, all of me.

I have shared my dreams, my tears, my fears, my wants, my passions. And he helps.

He does not condemn, he does not chide or scold. He just nods. He knows, he understands and I am not alone. He is always there and he will continue.

What I tell him he already knows, but he will always listen. I thank him, for my happiness, my knowledge, my love and my life. For always watching over me and being there. Reminding me that I am never alone.

Libra - me - WOW!

This is a cut and paste...but this is where I got it from http://www.elore.com/Astrology/Study/libra.htm

...but...Welcome to a description of ME!
- I've highlighted some of the yup that's me and added some thoughts

The basic Libran nature is diplomatic and charming. (why of course) Libras have an idealistic and generally peace loving nature. They are easygoing and sociable, in general. On the other side of the scale, Librans are known to be indecisive and changeable, gullible and easily affected.

Librans are considered by many astrologers to be among the most civilized of the twelve signs. (don't know if I'd call myself civlized...but I like it) Often good looking (of course), they exude certain elegance, charm and fine taste. As lovers of beauty and harmony, both in art and life, their nature is gentle and kind. Pleasure oriented people, Libras are intuitive and very aware of the power of image.

They are gifted with a strong sense of justice and fair play, and have fine analytical abilities.

They are known to be objective and impartial in making judgment calls. They do not suffer fools gladly and anyone who challenges their decisions or opinions is considered a fool. They are more interested in making friends than enemies, are willing to go along, to get along and therefore will usually do whatever it takes to maintain a relationship.

Librans are sensitive to others and understand the emotional needs of their associates. They are optimistic and cheerful people and have an ability to charm and delight their friends and acquaintances. Very sociable, they abhor cruel or vicious actions, and shy away from vulgar and offensive behavior. They dislike scenes, and will often go out of their way to avoid conflict.

They prefer to cooperate and compromise, and will give up, even when they feel they are in the right, rather than put up with the ordeal of an argument. Discord makes them totally insecure, and uncomfortable. They need and want harmony in their lives, and will do whatever it takes to have it. Librans are not loners, and do better in partnership both in their personal, and in their business life (surprising since I'm almost always single).

The more negative Libran character can be frivolous, flirty and quite shallow (I don't like the shallow thing...but I guess the truth hurts...it's still not getting bolded). In romance they can be indulgent to the point of hedonistic. (okay, this gets bolded and a comment...yup, hellooooo....this is definitely me :)) Libra shadows (not sure what shadows are...anyone with astrology info...help me out here) can be changeable and indecisive; impatient of routine; boringly conventional and timid; and easygoing to a point of annoyance to more energetic folk. Because they are slow to anger, Librans will shock everyone around them with their sudden outbursts of rage. (have -any- of you ever seen me angry...it's tons of fun...but it doesn't happen often) They love the good life and tend to be extravagant. Many Librans have been known to be hopeless gamblers. (ha ha...that's why I don't do much of it...but when I do...I pay to play)

Librans can be surprisingly energetic in the areas that move them, and indifferent to everything else. They are happiest when socializing, and at the top of their social strata. You will find many Librans in local organizations volunteering their time and services and rising to a position of prominence. They dislike coarse, dirty work, and will usually get someone else to do it, if necessary. They are fence sitters (and that's how I describe myself -all- the time) and will not take a stand on an issue, but prefer the middle of the road, until they are forced to choose. " Let's wait and see", was most likely first said by a Libra. The up side to this view is, they make good diplomats They are never guilty of an " On my mind, on my mouth " approach to things.

EB

Electric Blue

So much energy

So much colour

Very bright

Very attractive

Positive - oh so very positive

Happy

Calm

Powerful

Sexy

Passionate

Intelligent

Tender

Soft

...I do like electric blue.

"It's going to rain Wednesday....whatever that's supposed to mean..."

So now what?

Okay...

Woke at 7 this morning, back to sleep at 7:30, slept til noon. Could continue to sleep but there's so much to do.

Where to start. I would like to go to bed at a reasonably early hour tonight, so I've got about 8 hours of some serious production ahead of me. (Hey Nerds...wanna join me this afternoon/evening, I'll try not to go on about EB too much)?

Well it's dry as, well, hell in here. Definitely gotta fix that, out to get a humidifyer filter before bed, definitely. They must still turn on the electric heat at night. Note for the winter, bigger, stronger, more powerful humidifyer, don't like too dry.

Okay, gonna want to blog and get this all from paper to technology (and am doing so).

Laundry must be done as well and that's going to require coins...check and see what we need before starting.

Food, gotta eat. I have to start taking care of my temple or it will start to crumble. Eating habits have fallen into disrepair. But nourishment of some some form now. We'll try and do healthy in the evening.

And of course the chunk of today's project. Let's empty some more boxes.

So let's see; blog, quick shower, food (and the day starts to slip away, why did I spend so much time sleeping? Oh that's right, exhaustion), some unpacking, go out, buy the filter, make change, pick up some other odds and ends, do some laundry (let's see how sketchy this place's laundry room is...Nerds...I might need backup :)), more unpacking, something healthy to eat and then glorious bed.

What a boring day.

What I'd rather do? Walk up along queen street, buy some fabric for my ceiling, sit on a patio, smile at beautiful people walking by. I can unpack in the evenings all week. (Nerds...this could be fun?)

Who said that?

Oh dear, internal conflict, I need someone to help me make a choice...and preferably the one I want.

Well, let's start with the getting the ass outta bed. A very good place to start...and maybe some orange juice.

Tumbling thoughts

I have so many thoughts tumbling through my head right now as I try to blog before going to sleep and although I try to focus on just one, I can't see to get all the words on just one topic to stick.

Infidelity, why do people cheat? The thoughts haven't really formed, but I know that it upsets me and if I spent more time thinking about it I could probably get it all down. The problem...I don't think I really want to think about it at all...at least not right now.

Next, why do I allow myself to be treated poorly? I am always trying to do the right thing and stand for what I believe in even when everyone else says I'm beeing too nice, too understanding, too accomodating, too available. No one else would put up with it. I'm justified in being a b*tch. Am I trying to be a martyr? Do I like that or is it just who I am?

(BTW - sidenote here...I am very happy with my decision to be the bigger person, even if it means appearing that I'm getting stepped on and walked all over...I much prefer to stand for what I believe is the right thing. I have trouble with decisions so when I make one I stick by it...I like being the nice guy)

So much stuff to do with the new apartment. No, I haven't packed some stuff yet. Why not? Because I can either leave it behind for the next guy (lol)...or I have the next two weeks to come back and get it. But we all know that probably won't ever happen ;)

(...and I fell asleep, right here...pen in hand...I was exhausted last night...)

My old curtain...my new curtain :)

8pm Wednesday night (written on my cell phone, edited just now)

I've spent the whole afternoon finishing up my packing. I've come to pick up my curtains from my favourite seamstress in Greektown. Yes, okay, she's my only seamstress, but I did shop around until I found her, and I just adore her.

I rushed her a bit because today is the only day that I could pick up my curtains before I move in. And me, I just HAVE to have what I want, when I want it. Am I ever demanding?

So I get here and she has already stayed late just to get the curtains finished for me today...and sure enough I rushed her so much that she didn't read my chicken scratch, rushed diagram and made only one big curtain, instead of two equal curtains. She felt awful, and I tried not to be a spoiled little brat when I mentioned it to her. I told her it wasn't her fault, it was mine because I rushed her...and with the two of us apologizing we really weren't getting anywhere.

She assumed all responsibility and now I am sitting here while she finishes to make it just the way I want it for tonight. She insisted and of course I accepted because I really, really want it.

Can you tip your seamstress?

Ack! She is just the sweetestwoman in the world. When I went to pay her more, because hey...that was overtime in my books, she wouldn't accept it and not in a false no don't (yes, please) kind of way...just a sweet no. When I insisted she would only take half. lol....Loves her!

I might be moving even further from her but I will try to continue to bring her business...she's awesome...and so sweet...and nice...and very positive...and...YAY.

AND I have my wonderful, wonderful, harem style, bedroom curtains.

YAY!

Moving...

...how very stressful.

Saturday morning I awoke hours before my alarm went off with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. I couldn't wait to get my new apartment all set up, not moved in mind you, just set up. Set up, meaning fully painted, any technical things set up (new lighting, outlet face plates, curtain rods, etc.) and get new furniture built. I was also planning to move in some of my already packed boxes and maybe a small piece of furniture or two. I really wanted to get the big job of painting job and then all the little piddly stuff done.

The week before I had gone to the building to check out the work that had been done on the apartment as they had completely replaced the kitchen and half replaced the bathroom. I brought Nerdifer with me. Once there we talked a bit with one of the superintendants (there are 3, two of which I have met, the third is the office person with whom I have only spoken). She informed me that they would be sanding and refinishing the floors in the coming week (plural, that week) and she would be cleaning the apartment after that (the bathroom was pretty gross). I confirmed that I would be painting the following weekend and as well would like to move some of the boxes and bags in. No worries...so I skipped off in sheer delight that everything was going smoothly.

However, Saturday morning Nerdifer and I went to the apartment bright and early in order to tape the walls before the painting began and much to my absolute horror and surprise...*SIGH*...the floors had not been done and NOTHING had been cleaned. So I spoke with the other superintendant. I explained to him about what the other superintendant had told to the previous weekend. He (apparently the husband of the woman I haven't met) was extremely passive and I realized it was futile in even speaking with him about the issue. And is was made very clear that moving any boxes in or building any furniture could not be done until the floors were done. I was very frustrated but realized that there was nothing I could do.

Shortly after this conversation, and mid-way through the taping of the apartment there was a knock on the door. It was the first superintendant. She began to argue with me about the issue above. I have wondered as to why she would even bother coming up and argue with me about this. I was over it. There was nothing that could be done, issue closed. I now realize that she was trying to cover her @ss about telling me the floors would be done and boxes could be moved in. She explained that when she notified the third (unmet) superintendant of my painting the following weekend that she decided they would not do the floors until after I had painted for fear that I would ruin them while painting. (because apparently I don't care about the state of the floors in the apartment to which I'm moving into...arg!) So she picked a pointless argument to cover her butt, in front of my witness from the previous week. The argument was a waste and went something like this...

Me "...but you said..."
Her "...but she said...blah, blah, blah...painting..."
Me "...but you said..."
Her "...but she said...blah, blah, blah...floors..."
Me "...but YOU said..."

*sigh*...it was silly for her to even come to the apartment...and pointless for me to continue arguing but I wasn't going to relent and let her think she was right. Oh dear...I sound irrational...don't I? I WAS!

It took me awhile to get back on track but I was finally able to.

So my mother, sister and step-dad show up...I'm still stressed and frustrated but we settle into organizing the rest of the day. Mom and P*** stay behind to begin painting. My sister, Nerdifer & I leave in the van to do some hardcore speed shopping. I had, the weekend before with Nerdifer picked out the items I wanted to purchase, after the previous alone trip I had done to get ideas of what I wanted to eventually choose. YES...I can go overboard sometimes...but this is my home I'm working on here...and I'm a get it done kinda girl, none of this work on it over time. When I move...I MOVE.

So we power shopped...and yes there was frustration...and yes there were missing (out-of-stock) items...and yes there were ignorant shoppers who stopped in front of us mid-aisle...and yes I was ready to hurt other people. But we got through it. We then carted all of the big boxes up to the apartment where I longingly gazed at them and dreamed of using their delicate little allen keys to make them blossom into the lovely furniture they will become. But alas...that wasn't happening.

The apartment however, was turning out marvellously...the colour going on the wall exciting me and giving me a beautiful imagine of how wonderful it will look when it's all done.

My mother had packed a lovely picnic lunch of build-your-own sandwiches on handy little buns, and veggies and dip, and homemade cookies. We all settled down on the floor and ate until we were full, then dove back into apartment preparations. Around 6 o'clock, all of us feeling completely exhausted we left for the day.

That evening was spent eating pizza and an attempt at a game of 90s Trivial Pursuit, but when playing with Nerdifer, well the games don't last very long. If it had been a game of pool, Nerds never let her oponents on the table. I'm glad we played teams, because I also won :)

The next morning Mom, Sis, Step-dad and I hit the apartment for round two, Nerds having her own life to get back to.

We stepped into the apartment and realized that the primer + two coats of paint we had done on the living area walls the day before was not enough. P*** started painting a 3rd coat with the remaining paint, while the ladies stepped out to pick up the furniture that was out of stock at the stores we had hit the day before, as well as another galon of paint, some gloss (for a table) and some screws and plugs. Sure enough for two hours we drove all around the city looking for furniture that wasn't in stock until I was satisfied and purchased one of the two pieces that I wanted and settled. And brought the paint back.

So we finished the painting and sat on my lovely Terrace (the balcony) for another picnic style lunch with the leftovers from the day before. We finished off the afternoon with putting up the track lighting in the kitchen and hanging up my new wine rack.

The wine rack was being hung on the 2 inch thick wall between the kitchen and the dining room. My sister and I measured it out...got P*** and Mom to eye it. P*** re-measured and marked it. Got out his drill and started drilling....and....brrrrpppppp....uh oh....and I threw up, just a little and just in my mouth. The drill was poking through the nicely painted wall on the otherside...*sigh*...but it has been pushed back and painted over...and as long as I don't pick at it (yup, it's going to need to be properly repaired), it will be fine. :)

So we tidied up and got out of there...and now I have a busier week and an even busier weekend ahead of me....but when I'm done I will have the most marvellous, wonderful, yay apartment EVER! :)

Memories

I was on hold again last week and another wonderful song filled my ears and I sang along, at the annoyance of my co-workers. (I actually think they like it). And it was this one below...

The Beatles - There Are Places I Remember

There are places I remember all my life,
Though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moments
Of lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I loved them all.

And with all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these mem'ries lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more.

And I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them.
In my life I loved you more
In my life I loved you more

What an absolutely beautiful song. Like the other songs I have mentioned on this blog it has stuck with me for a number of days. It is words like these and songs like these of which I like to remind others and be reminded myself. They make you think, they make your heart warm. Take a moment, and really think about something wonderful that you have loved in your life. Why not...it only takes a moment and it can make your day.

Sometimes when I remember, I forget - Winnie-the-Pooh

Recently a friend of mine wrote the following to me...

"...to just shake my head and say "Oh, silly old PrincessDoubt," like I'm Christopher Robin and you are Pooh-Bear stuck in Rabbit's hole because you couldn't stay away from his honey pots..."

lol...Everytime I read that, my heart fills with love and happiness and absolute joy. She is a very good writer (check her out at www.donttouchthefeet.blogspot.com) and I often love the way she grasps and idea and gets it across. I also LOVE the name of her blog as it is witty, universal and quite her. :)

This image that she created in my mind is wonderful, because it really is me, and I love it. I love being Pooh Bear. I really do. I like being a little black cloud on the end of a red balloon, and getting stuck in trees and rabbit holes and being confused. I like asking lots of questions and never really figuring out the answer just to ask new questions that will eventually get me the same answer, until I finally get it but end up forgetting it anyways later on...lol...

I think I have some very Pooh Bear like qualities and I think they are some of my best qualities. I am much more than that, but it is definitely a huge part of my personality that I absolutely love and have never thought about much before. But this one little comment from her, in a very extensive email, just made me smile from the inside out. She got a mental imagine that embodied something so beautifully that I felt very strongly inside.

So a HUGE props to Nerdifer for her insight and for her love...

Okay...just read the quote again and GAWD! do I ever love it. I just get the giggles every time (it's even funnier with my real name...and I don't know why)...but I love it.

Why?

Why do we do the things we do? Why do we make the choices we make?

Why is it harder to -not- eat the chocolate ice cream? We want to eat it but we want to be thin. Is our desire for the chocolate that much stronger than the desire to be thin? Or is it something else? Do we enjoy doing things that lead us astray from our goals or is it simply easier to chose the fun things? Does the fun and enjoyment outweigh everything else no matter the consequences?

We drink, we the the wrong foods, we say out late, we have sex, we don't exercise. We all do all of these all the time. Sometimes we can be responsible. But there is always something in our lives that we know we shouldn't do, or something we know we -should- do more. And yet we don't listen to that little voice. Worse than ignore him, we actually hear him and then push him out of the way for the shiney little thing we want. How is that colourful, sparkly thing so much stronger? Why do we give it the strength to overrule what we know is the right, the good, the healthy?

Are we lazy, choosing the easier for the fun? Or are we afraid? Are we afraid to try? Afraid of what will happen if we try. What is so bad about trying? Is failure that frightening? Is it easier to make things worse than to attempt to make them better? Do we disagree that "...it is better to have love and lost, than never to have loved at all..."? Are we afraid that it is not better? That if you don't know how great it could be, you're no really missing out.

If you had the choice of one day of utter and complete perfectionn and happiness in ever possible way...and then nothing after that, the end OR a life of struggle and hurt and imperfections for a chance at that same complete perfection and happiness someday? Which would you choose?

Most of us would say, if asked right now, the life, the struggle, the hardship. But when faced withthe same question in our daily lives, we seem to choose the easy way, the fun way. but what we fail to realize is that the way isn't.

Everything we have inour lives is what we make of it. If it feels difficult or should be difficult, we don't look at any other possibilities. We don't assume that we ourselves are making it worse, just in the way we look at the situation, at the way we approach it, fear it.

We need to stop being afraid and start being excited. Excited for the hard, the struggle and looking at the journey, the lessons and the rewards.

Accept happiness and joy in your life. The workout can make you feel just as good as the ice cream...and actually better. The ice cream only tastes good while you're eating it, the workout lasts a lot longer.

Don't rush, don't always take the shortcut, don't see if you can get there the fastest. See how much you can learn and don't worry about anyone else's results compared to your own. It is your journery, your path, your life.

Butternut Squash

That's what is inside my head at the moment.

Last night I went out for drinks with co-workers after work. Heck, we even started early and had a glass at the office. I then proceeded to have my fair share of beverages for the next 3 hours.

Fair share = glass of white wine (at the office), 1/2 bottle of red, 2 tequila/seven-up

Needless to say I was quite inebriated by the time I left at...*sigh*...8pm ;). I left to get home in time for Survivor. I was much more intoxicated than I thought. I mean I used to be able to drink a ton (thank you 40 days and 40 nights)...but apparently my tolerence has really dropped...because I was out of it last night. I spoke with a friend on the phone...I remember doing that, but a major component of the conversation was completely lost to me...until she told me about it -again- this morning. I also managed to hurt myself a couple of times just from stumbling uselessness. Always good.

So anyways...today my head has been useless. I don't feel ill, or headachy or anything of the sort, but I can't focus in the least...I'm lazy and fuzzy and my head isn't working quite right. I thought I really wasted time yesterday...I wasted even more today. Walking into work on Monday morning is going to suck, because I'm going to have to make up for all of the work I didn't do today. And even though I have an hour left, this is all that I feel like doing. ;)

Here I sit...distracted, discombobulated, tired, and a little antsy...and finding ways to waste the next hour at the office (yes, I'll probably try and sneak out early...but can you blame me?)

Sorry I haven't written more this week. I actually composed a long GUSHY post about how much I love Buffy and why everyone should watch it and I go on ad nauseum...I'm just considering whether I should post it or not because it's a little much.

I'm so busy with the move...which, have I mentioned it here? Has been moved from April 30th to April 16th. Yup...now I have to fit 4 weeks of my move into two weeks. Which really means I wasn't going to start doing anything until 2 weeks before anyway...but I was going to panic then...now I'm just panicking early and blaming it on the decreased time span. But I'm thoroughly looking forward to it and I just can't wait to move it.

I should really walk home tonight...I need the exercise, but I just want to go to bed, which I shouldn't do either. No, I'll probably end up walking home, and then stopping at the LCBO to get MORE boxes (I've already filled 8...and I've got enough junk for at least another 8...not to mention clothes)...moving is hard.

Thank goodness I hired movers...I sure as heck ain't moving myself again...that was pretty tough and no fun. This will get all the heavy stuff in my apartment the Saturday morning of my move. Any furniture that I'm buying that needs putting together can be done in the new apartment between the painting and the moving in. Painting is taking place next weekend. My parents are coming into town to help. There could be as many as five of us painting...and that will be good to get done. And YES...even though my supers have said that they would -prefer- that I didn't paint the apartment red or blue...those are pretty much the colours I'm doing...lol. ;)

Look at that pile of work on my desk...nope, I'm not going to even attempt to touch it again. My day ended hours ago. I'm going to spend the next 1/2 hour thinking about how I'm going to spend my day, and my money tomorrow :)